A while ago I went jogging with Andi, which was my first time jogging in about over half a year. I just got too lazy and now I wanna try for swim team so I better get in shape.
Anyways, this suit would probably sound pretty scary to a lot of people. It's similar to Iron Man's suit, with the main difference being that instead of carrying heat it packs about several hundred mini syringes placed throughout it's frame. Each one is filled with concentrated a concentrated dosage of some of the dopiest weed you will ever find, designed to make your muscles go completely numb in the general area. Whenever you start feeling a cramp, the suit will pick up on the pain signals in your spine (oh by the way you need to shove a giant needle with a sensor attached into your spine) and proceed to inject a dose into the general area.
Because neuroscience has gotten that advanced (now shutup, it totally works). The only problem I see is that the sensors may pick up on the pain of a syringe being forcefully jabbed into your side, and trigger the syringes around that syringe to numb the pain. And then the ones around those ones go off. So pretty soon you will look like a very well aged piece of Swiss. Or maybe someone who just took a jog through a meadow of nails. Or maybe a piece of cheese that jogged through a meadow of nails. Your call.
Apparently you guys want photos with posts and I'm no artist, so you can go look at this photo and pretend that I made it.
http://www.allpstrophies.com/trophies/the-hypochondriac-ps3-trophy-20369.jpg
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Do this many runners struggle with the crampage? :O
ReplyDeleteI think my problem while running is the boredom. I get bored of running, and I lose my rhythm and pace, and then I lose the speed...and then I realize that I'm tired, and then I stop (and then I fail the race).
What if you had, like, pre-inserted IV's on the runner and controlled the injections like they do at hospitals?
You know how they stab you once you're on the hospital bed, and leave the needle and tube inside your vein so doctors and nurses have easy access to your blood/system? You could clamp them shut like they do in the hospitals too, and just have the suit inject wherever/whenever. It'd probably hurt less this way, though the area might become sore after, say, a 45-minute run...
And that'd screw up the signals. Hmm. I guess another problem with this idea (mine, not yours) is that the needle in the vein tends to cause some blood loss when it's taken out. And if you're not careful with it things can turn surprisingly bloodly quite quickly. What about a skin patch, then? Oh wait. then there's the problem with the speed of the cramp-relief...
Maybe we should just all swim instead.
:D
/endrant
You have the spirit of a genius of Henry or my status, it's just that you lack the... creativity. You're being too practical.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit weird in the way that I actually seek pain. Mostly because I associate that with improvement. I just keep on going until my legs start burning and my sides cramp up. If I can force another kilo while in that state then I assume that i'm pushing my muscles enough for them to get stronger.
Swimming tires me out like crazy.
Oh, and I've never been hospitalized in my entire life so I'll just pretend that I've felt that experience.
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