The Lego Bus Seat Proposal

So before the holiday break I remarked that quite a few buses were skipping stops while only half full. This immensely annoyed me, because it was clearly visible that there was more than enough space in the back of the bus, yet most people would just loiter in the front. "That is really inefficient" I would say. But you know what isn't inefficient? Really Really Really Awesome Ideas.

I'll warn you now that this may scare some people at the thought of it.

We've all recalled to the good old days when we used to all play with Lego. The big ass bucket would be absolutely horrendous to try to sort through every time you got it out. That's sort of like how we're being laid out right now, with all the pieces of different shapes and sizes getting crammed into every little corner we can find.

Now you may say "but Alex, you can't compare people to Lego! We don't even have the notches to fit together!"! Now if you go into that, technically we do have pieces that go together in that fashion, but this blog has already seen its fair share of dirty jokes. Well, what if I make the necessary notches? Here's the bit you won't like.

Upon boarding these new buses, one will not go on and find a seat. Why? Because I removed all the seats!

No, you aren't doomed to a terrible fate of having to stand either. I'm going to shove all of you into tiny little dark boxes that fit together like Lego.

Now, that wasn't a very good way of putting it, was it? They aren't tiny necessarily, but rather just space efficient. You're going to be given just enough space to wiggle around and then a bit. By dark I mean that you're not really going to be doing much for the duration of this ride, so think of it as an express hibernation pod in a way. Play some Coldplay while you're in there to kill time or just fall asleep (which you probably will do anyways because you're listening to Coldplay).

Now, Lego is the major selling point on this idea (but the other two bits sound quite lovely, do they not)? These pieces will lock in to the chassis of the bus so that they're secured for the ride. This will make space efficiency very high despite the fact that it's a giant can of meat bodies hurtling down the highway that could be decimated by one wrong turn. Don't be surprised to get off the bus one day and notice you're missing a liver either.

Support for fat people should mandate that other specialty buses be chartered with extra large compartments, just so that they don't feel segregated in any way, shape, or form. The disabled shouldn't be a problem since they're just lying down anyways.

Excuse my poor drawing skills. The compartments will open at the tip of the left side of the radical compartment, and the space there is for your personal effects. Climb up, lie down, and stop complaining. There's other dudes stacked on top, below, and to your left and right and they aren't bitching.

Notice the shape of each compartment. You can guess what I think about most of the day.