The Freedom Gene

WARNING: This is crazy racist.

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Welcome class, welcome back to Advanced Genetics 201. Now that we've finished our chapter on Mendelian Genetics, we can start an interesting field of study that I know many of you may be looking forward towards - rare homogeneous recessive-allele linked diseases!

Let's start with a simple one... Hmmm... Oh, I've got it! What is the fundamental difference between America and Hitler?

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It's all genetic, of course! Let me start with a case study, named Spectre- err. Pardon me. Specimen 1. Let's say that Specimen 1 is part of a nuclear family with two offspring, one of each gender. Now, if his father is from Austria and Mexico, while his mother is from Germany, what is the likelihood that he or his sister are 'merica-Hating Fascists?

Well it's simple, you see. From the ancestry of his parental generation, Austrian/Mexican and German, we can determine their genotypes. Remember, you must always base your prediction on genotypes, and not phenotypes! Being half Austrian (a former member of the Axis Powers), and half Mexican ('merica's little drug peddling brother), we can determine a genotype of "Ff" for his father. Being pure German, we can expect the mother to have a genotype of "ff".

Now, what is the homozygotic allele that determines whether or not one is a fascist? It is the Freedom Gene! The Freedom Gene, represented by an "F", is a dominant (MANIFEST DESTINY MOTHER F****ERS!... no seriously. Genes can do that.) allele present in all of America, Canucks, and tea-drinkers. This is due to the former two parties being direct descendants of Neolithic Americans. On the other hand, the Facism Gene, represented by a "f", is a homozygous recessive allele present in Nazis, Communists, terrorists, and uh... Specimen 1.

So, from what we learned from Punnet Squares, the genotypes Ff and ff create what ratio of phenotypes and genotypes?
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That's right! The phenotypic ratio goes as follows:

    1 Facist : 1 FREEDOM FIGHTING MACHINE

The genotypic ratio goes as follows:

    1 ff: 1 Ff

That gives a 50% chance of a member of the first filial generation being a Nazi-Communist-'merica-hating-terrorist! Luckily for Specimen 1's sister, however, she was the other 50%. Yes, that's right, Liberty-Hope-Apple-Pie-9/11-Was-Bad is a FREEDOM LOVING AMERICAN.

Now, who were some other famous figures to have the Facist phenotype? Some other prominent members of society include: Walt Disney, Big Bird, "Pierce" from Community, and Rob Ford's right index finger.

Even more interesting is the effects of monosomies/trisomies in chromosome 69, the carrier for the Freedom/ Facism gene. In the case of a person having only one allele, individuals may experience severe depression, weight loss, and a lack of wanting to fight anyone. We call this condition being French. The phenotypes respective to the genotypes "Fx" and "fx" are named French Nazis, and dirty French people. As for trisomies, a very important person once had a trisomy for the Freedom Gene. You may know him.

Born to George Washington and Han Solo, Jesus was an influential individual with a genotype of "FFF"!

Pictured:
Genetic Selection at it's finest.

(warned you it was racist, bro cookie)
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Don't take personal offence, Specimen 1 and his immediate family. We still love you. <3