The Back-To-School Wall

Summer means a lot of things for students. Among those things is growth. Growing bonds with friends, growing boredom,  growing bodies, and of course growing flabs of fat from sitting in your living room for 8 hours straight playing video games in the darkness while shoving your mouth with Cheetos. But more importantly growing bodies. Too many times have I gone back to school to have my friends remark "wow did you grow in the summer?".

No. The answer is no. It's always no. Want to know why? Because it was just 2 months, unless you're on some scary ass supersoldier diet you are never gonna grow that high in such a small period of time. Thankfully this innovation will help me out with dealing with these people.

Every school in the TDSB shall be equipped with a big ass wall. By methods to be decided later, they are to mark their general body shape into the wall. You could have a day where everyone goes out, lines up, and has their homeroom teacher mark their height on the wall with a little sharpie. Or maybe if you wanna have fun you can pave it with fresh concrete and have children propel themselves into the wall while it's still wet so that their imprints are immortalized once it dries. Notin wrong wit a lil knock to de noggin, a nit?

You could use the wall to see who got stronger based on how deep the imprint goes. You could see who got fat or lost weight (and who will appropriately be named the "sluts" or "bitches" if I have my female rivalry correct). And of course, you can correct those idiots that question whether or not you've gotten taller during the summer. After all, they all just got shorter...right?