The Analog Waffle Iron Image Scanner

For those of you who are camera geeks like I am, this can be comparable to a CCD in how it works. With a CCD there is an array of individual photosensors that calculate light levels and run algorithms to tell the processor how to average out colour and luminosity in different regions of the photo. CCD panels are very sensitive instruments but in concept they are very simple in design. Or at least to me, since I put together like 6 pages of info on how they work on a Tech project only to change topics because going into such a level of detail on each component of the camera would force me to spend several months to-...you get the point.

Anyways, waffles are tasty. Real tasty. Really Really awesome too, but not so that it would outshine the ideas on this blog. They're so tasty that seeing a porcupine in a bikini grind on a rail made of licorice while using Justin Bieber as a board and then dismounting with a triple axel spin wouldn't seduce your mind from it's flavour. And that is the basis of this next idea.

It consists of a douche food critic with an adept palate and some really fast brain processing speed. The paper that you want to scan will have to be a standard 8x11, since waffles should never come any bigger than that, and be printed with ink or burned with a laser printer. 

If it was a laser printer, take a fresh hot waffle and smack it into the paper, letting it rub in for a second or two. Minute traces of the burnt paper will fall into place on the waffle and leave a slight alteration in flavour that our douche critic will pick up on. The same concept applies with the ink printer except obviously with ink.

He will proceed to insert the waffle into his mouth and assess the landscape of the waffle, finding pseudo-eddies where patterns of ink have touched the waffle. He will then paint out the original paper by hand, giving you a copy of the original script to give to your loved ones. Also did I mention that the scanner only works if the critic has renowned art skills? Well, I did now. We might as well throw an engineer and a politician into the mix of this man's fields of expertise.