The Pore Plug

It is really annoying when you suddenly break into a sweat whether it be from exercise or the area just being to hot. This post is a bit personal to me, since I normally sweat from exercise that is neither vigorous nor physically demanding. I'll just suddenly start sweating when I'm not even feeling that hot. It's even more annoying when I touch something only to find out my palms suddenly started sweating while I was walking.

With the use of nanomicrosuperlongcomplicatedprefixthatmeanssmall fibres assembled into a gel, this so called "plug" will start off as a liquid. Just like syrup on a pancake (or whatever weird non-food related fetish you're into), you smother your skin with this weird viscous liquid. Give it a few seconds and some weird science-y mechanism in the gel will make chemical compounds start reacting with your skin to solidify the gel, kind of like a second skin. But the thing is that the superdupertinynanomicrosuperlongcomplicatedprefixthatmeanssmall fibres are so superdupertiny that they'll fall into place in your pores and clog them up, sorta like your bowels after eating 5 chilli cheese beef burritos at Taco Bell. This leaves the sweat trapped in the pores, leaving you dry and (somewhat) comfortable. When you want to remove it, you man up and rip it out like an animal.

There are no possible downsides to this since you don't really need to cool your body down to stop yourself from overheating. It's not like you're going to stimulate your heart to the point where it fails or anything. Heat exhaustion is completely unheard of here since the media is too busy reporting the tragedies of cats getting caught in trees and clearance sales at Staples than to report real news. If you can't see or hear about it, it doesn't exist right? Also it's not like it's unsanitary to have dirt and sweat trapped within your skin.

One last little thing that is a pro to this; should you do this while exercising the heat buildup will probably sterilize any male using the product. The amount of warmth will sorta cook your...whats a nice way to say this... TESTICLES to the point where all sperm is killed and you start shooting blanks. Wait, if the sperm exists but it's all dead is it a blank? I don't know. Anyways, you'll have a few hours to do whatever you want relatively safely, provided that the heat exhaustion doesn't make you collapse.