The Ed-jew-ma-cator

In response to the recent passing of my Kumon instructor, I decided to write up this post. While I didn't know him that personally apart from the time I spent at my centre, it does seem fitting to acknowledge such an unfortunate occurrence somehow in some way.

Have you ever seen one of those documentaries where at one point some important science-y looking dude will put a brain impulse sensing helmet or mat thingy on someone's head to pick up on brain activity according to emotional sensation or reaction to certain things? Basically it's like a ridiculous looking coaster/doily on your head. Now imagine that on the position of each of those little joints, there is a mini pseudo-oil rig looking contraption that in essence taps into the neural networking of a human by force. This is to be called, the Ed-jew-ma-cator.

After the device is put into place (a process I'm guessing takes a few hours), several pounds of calculus and trigonometry exercises and Shakespeare analysis are to be blended with water to create a thick pulp of knowledge, and tedious but somewhat fruitful self-learning. Concentrate this over the course of a few days so that it is ready to be implanted into the pupil through the Ed-jew-ma-cator to ensure that he remembers (it'll be physically forced in, it better sink in...). Of course this is assuming that there are no complications with the multiple puncture wounds to the skull.

Through these helmets the school system could be sped up in average duration and efficiency by several thousand percent. Entire grade levels of information could be learnt within the span of a month, making it easier for pupils of all needs. Plus, it'll toughen up our kids so they don't complain about boo-boos on their big toe anymore. Hoorah for advances in edjumacation!