SimulView Assvertisements

Man is not a perfect being. He may not always remember where he left the TV remote. He may not always remember that he left Chinese takeout leftovers in the fridge for the past two weeks. And of course, he may not always stay true in going about in his daily activities. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about when we check out other people's asses.

You know you've done it. We've all done it. Somehow it grabs our attention wherever you go, drawing your eyes to it no matter how you try to avoid looking at it. It's a major distraction, and you know you can't afford to be lost in it, but you do anyways. The form, the subtlety, the abstractness of the lady behind. It's a beautiful thing.

And then you realize that you're in public and that you should stop staring. Yes, as much fun as it is to describe how much fun it is to stare at asses, we should get back to the idea. Whatever it was...

...uhhh... something about advertising... right. You ever seen one of those SimulView TVs from Sony? It uses 3D tech to filter out images through a pair of 3D glasses so that two people can see different images on a single display simultaneously.

Here we go again with a joint idea. Along the lines of edible potato LCD monitors and 3D
Ass Adverts. A super duper organic LCD monitor mimic cotton (because science is never a limit to awesome ideas) will replace all tight fitting female clothing and will become a standard in fashion. While other females wouldn't see anything on their clothing, the nanomachines (that are being snuck into your soy milk) within the optic nerves of the male will layer on an advert on the more delicate lady parts that they see every day, with their clothing being the projectors. It'll be as if it's popping out in your face (in more ways than one)!

Super duper not-spying-on-you Google Cloud technology will tailor ads specific to your needs and the context, though I'm a bit afraid that the ads will only pop of a certain subject... but that's their fault for provoking it. Some of them might not even mind.

Now the next time you're caught staring, rather than getting the death glare or a slap across the face, you can say:

"Hey, I was just checking out...the...new Tim Hortons ad..."

And of course some women could pay to create the illusion that they're more well endowed than they really are, adding to the list of things that gentlemen such as myself must watch out for. Among them are transvestites and 40 year old men with Bieber Fever.

I just watched the series finale of Being Erica (my posts get written quite far in advance). I normally don't  watch it, but dayum. Erin Karpluk. Dat be fine. But that definitely had nothing to do with the creation of this post.