I was talking to a friend the other day when we were at a restaurant. She was eating ice cream as if she had OCD, doing some freaky ass surgical precision in taking scoops out of it. I told her if she could ever put that much dedication in something not as pointless as eating ice cream, she could be really successful (she's super lazy). She said that what she was doing took a lot more precision than it looked like, and proceeded to insult me for being so meticulous in how I take photos.
OH NO YOU DI'NT BITCH. NOW U GON' GET IT.
At which point I began to nerd her out with things on aperture and metering and such. She said that photography was stupid because you couldn't make real money off of it, at which point I responded with the fact that I could take pictures of half naked women for Playboy all day and make loads of money and be the happiest dude in the world. She pointed out that the women wouldn't touch me anyways, seeing that I was just the photographer. To that I responded with the fact that I would have shitloads of cash with which to buy their company. She then said that once I got old, the women would be old and crusty and undesirable, while she would still have her ice cream no matter what.
And them BAM! I got this idea.
Don't you love how badly that last paragraph was constructed? Want me to fix it? Nope.
This will be targeted to extremely rich old white guys that want to get sum' 'o it on (pronounced AHH-WON) wit' dat. Every month, sorta like a magazine, a new woman will be sent to your home for residency as part of our premium packages. You see, you'll get older and older, but the girls we send to you every month will stay the same age (we're gonna need some more cancer foetuses).
Do anything you want with her, involving all sorts of kinky forplay and other acts of a sexual nature. This will be a convenience oriented thing, and we'll allow for rentals and online downloads as well (don't ask me how that works). One can choose from many lines, such as "Asian", "Ebony", and "Amputee Midget". Guess which one is our most popular line. ;)
Alright, first off! This isn't slavery, because hookers aren't people.
Next! The missus won't know, because all our bombshells come with lampshade camouflaging modes(it's really convincing).
Finally! She doesn't make sandwiches, sorry mates.
Wait, wait, where are you going? No! Wait! Come back! You can still sleep with her!
Dammit. Lost another customer.
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