Ching Chong Space Cowboy

Hey. I want you to play a little game with me. How much do you think NASA takes up in a year for it's operations? Go on. Think it over a bit.

About $19 billion. Sweet jesus, you could buy a lot of chili cheese burritos with that. Wow. I'm about to bump that up to about $200 billion.

Want to know why? Because that's an initial investment. The next year after that we'll be running about three bucks fifty, and that's just because George forgot to bring the WD40 and had to go down to Home Depot to get a can. "What is he talking about?" you may ask.

Bobby Lee. That is how.

If any of you guys have ever seen Bobby Lee (which I know you have, otherwise you're a terrible human being) doing any one of his infamous sketches on Madtv, it's farking hilarious. Who hasn't heard of Bobby Lee? The whole reason why Madtv even ran was because of Bobby Lee. Keegan Michael Key is cool too  though.

$200 billion will immediately be put forth to good use in actually making Cancer Baby Accelerated Fetus Growth a reality, with all the semen to be donated by none other than Bobby Lee (he's going to have a lot of fapping to do), after which all his children will be raised by NASA to be spacemen. Seeing that he's Asian, they'll all be insane super geniuses. Seeing that they're all mini Bobby Lees, they'll all be insanely funny to watch.

After all their formal training and science degrees, we'll set them off in the Uh Oh ! Hot Dog! shuttle and set up cameras everywhere so that we can watch the shenanigans that they get into up in space. One of them might come running out of the control centre half naked, covered in nacho cheese, and screaming about panzerottis. One of them might try their own rendition of the cameltoe while doing a spacewalk. One of them might accidentally urinate upon the flight control systems, leading the shuttle into an asteroid belt after getting really wasted on cheap sake. Who knows?

You know, I'm not really kidding around here. Bobby's done some insane stuff. Sorta like Flea. You know what, screw it, let's send Flea up with them and watch him dance around with a fleabass in his PJs slapping some funky beats to the shenanigans of Bobby Lee.

So after the first few stunts (and some REALLY shocked newspaper titles), people will start tuning in every Friday to check out what crazy ass shit NASA's up to next. The monumental advertising space in the one hour long highlights-of-the-week episode will probably be more than enough to pay off for all expenses of the program, with millions going in for seconds of a logo being popped. With the excess we can fund any other research projects that we may have, such as looking for life on other planets and figuring out where to haul our asses to after wasting Earth with nukes (you know it'll happen eventually)

Throw in the revenue from stupid little bobbleheads and knock-off DVDs and we've just solved the US debt crisis.

Hot damn, I'm on a roll! I've fixed climate change and the recession!